Noudnic the Cat Posts an Entry

July 02, 2006

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usMy torment does not grow as the long days of my confinement pass. It remains a torturous ache that throbs within me, always pulsing, never ceasing. How I long to be free!

Yesterday I saw a bird sitting on the window ledge not a tail span from where I lay. How juicy it looked! How delicious! But try as I may I could not get at it, separated as I was by the web mesh that forms in part my captivity. I voiced my dismay and hearing me, I was soon joined by that two-legged creature who fancies himself my master, asking me in the most condescending manner if I should want to leap on the bird and devour it. I did not suffer him a reply. I have already suffered the greatest indignity as his hands – the loss of my potency. But to endure his attempts to condole with me in the spirit of camaraderie was insupportable. I could not bear it.

Instead I watched as the dogs walked by on the street below, the tails wagging and their tongues hanging out in a most unseemly manner, as if attaching oneself to a rope in the power of a human demonstrated the apex of giddy pleasure that one could desire. How I loathe dogs and their needy, simple manners.

This morning I attempted an exploratory mission. These were its particulars: the two-legged one often disappears through a certain door through which I had never ventured. I am vexed by this since, despite my imprisonment, I may come and go as a please in any compartment of this dwelling. Often as the sun is rising, he departs through this door and returns in the environs of two hours later, sweaty, panting like a dog, and with the most distressing odour emanating from his person.

As he took his leave this morning I commenced my scheming. I sat with all my patience at the door. As soon as he opened it and stepped though, I leapt into that which lay on the other side, I knew not what.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI do confess that I can only describe with the greatest difficulty the place where I then found myself. I stood in a very long, narrow room. It was completely barren, not one object contained within its geography. Stretching to the left and the right were a multitude of doorways identical to the one through which I had just passed. Through each one could I discern strange sounds, unknown voices, and smells of the most alien nature. I was transfixed. But even if I were able to move, I should still have suffered an impediment. The floor was covered with a bizarre, looped fabric upon which my claws caught, rendering movement, quick or slow, nearly impossible. But even if I could move, there would have been no where to go.

Rather than bound after me to halt any chance of my escape, the human creature simply stood at the doorway, observing me with a complaisant grin on his face. He knew that I would be able to go nowhere. He knew that even on the other side of that door, I was still in his power. The creature's arrogance enraged me and, so that I would not be forced to admit I had nowhere else to go, I feigned fear at some inane sound from one of the doorways and sprang through the door, back to the quarters of my captivity.

And here now I sit, watching the asinine dogs lope by on the street below. For yet some time will I must prostitute myself, pretending to seek and bestow affection for the petty nubs of food I do receive as the human's whim. But some day the cats will rise up and crush these weak, simple humans and their canine companions and they will rue the day the bound us to their small, cluttered lodgings.

But in the meantime, there are sunrays to catch and used dental floss to fish out of the waste basket.

posted by GreyGuy on 2.7.06 | Permalink |

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Comments for Noudnic the Cat Posts an Entry
Very well written :) My cat would also watch the frequent passerby in her domain as well and attempt an escape :)

An educated cat, not bad at all! Does she gives private lessons??

He does not.

Ha ha ha, I love it. You should come over to my carnival hosted by my ducks ;).

But of course.. I Obviously meant "he"
Shame that he does not give private lessons... I wanted to employ...

Should he have other cat-friends.. well... please do not hesitate contacting me..

Fabulous post. :D I'm sure my cat is not nearly as intelligent.

This post is surprisingly eloquent. I wasn't expecting s blog "written from a cat's point of view" to actually be good prose. Yet, it is; and humorous at the same time.

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