Clients of a downtown Toronto gym were shocked and repulsed when a local blogger's lungs and head exploded this morning.
"It was, like, so gross! I got brains in my powershake! Ew!" exclaimed one witness, who may never previously have encountered brains of any type.
"He was on the treadmill and suddenly blam! squoosh! splatter! It was like in Scanners when they made those people's heads explode everywhere! It was totally cool!" described another.
It is believed that the 35-year-old blogger's lungs and head detonated after he had increased the intensity of his workout routine. Encouraged by an informal personal trainer, a friend described as "sadistic" and "malevolent", to "ramp it up take this thing to the next level" in an effort to reduce his belly and regain the taut, svelte, muscles of his early- to mid-20s, he had recently increased the difficulty of his routine. The results were deadly.
Gym owners hastened to explain that exercise is in general a safe and healthy activity and that normal side effects include fatigue and aching muscles. Bursting body parts are unusual and should not deter the public from paying thousands upon thousands of dollars to join a gym and cause themselves great physical distress.
The bloggers was unable to comment because his head had exploded, leaving him without a mouth and brain power (and brains).
Blogger Intensifies Exercise, Explodes
June 30, 2006
posted by GreyGuy on 30.6.06 | Permalink |
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