I have the secret to eternal youth. Unhappy people spend hundreds of thousands of dollars trying desperately to look young. Ponce de Leon got himself killed look for the Fountain of Youth. All the money, all the energy expended on the quest for youth; it is such a collossal waste. I have discovered exactly what these people need. All they need do is spend of couple of days with their parents who are visiting from a distant city and they will be instantly shunted back to their adolescence.

I have an excellent relationship with my parents and this excellent relationship is certainly exemplified by the mirthful, hearty conversations on the first couple of days of the visit. But somewhere on Day 2 or Day 3 the mood changes all at once for no reason that I can discern and I am instantly transformed into a petulant teenager less than half my age, with arms crossed and pouting crossed in a corner. Youth has been achieved!

Paraphrased Regular Conversation:

Parental Unit: Whatcha doing? [translation: I'm curious about your life, especially since we only see each other once a year and I'm hoping you can tell me a little more about yourself now that you're an adult. Plus, I'm a little nosey.]

Snarling Surly: Going out. [translation: I am embarrassed to admit that I need a short break from hanging out with you and so I am about to give a reason to want to take a break from hanging out with me so I don't have to admit this.]

Parental Unit: Where are you going? [translation: I know nothing about this city where you live and I'm curious.]

Snarling Surly: Out! (eyes roll) [translation: If you knew how boring my life really is you wouldn't be so curious.]

Parental Unit: Who're you going out with? [translation: I like all your friends I've ever met and I'd like to know more about them. Is it anyone I know? How're they doing?]

Snarling Surly: * sigh * I'm going out with friends . . . [translation: I'm really glad you like all my friends, especially since most of them are gay and some parents wouldn't like that so much, but I don't want you to hang out with them too much because they always seem to like you more than they like me...and since I am a snarling, surly, insecure teenager . . . ]

Ô the wondrous joy and guilt of spending time with parents.

Luckily for me my parents are quite used to this sort of behaviour from me (they did, after all, live in the same enclosed space as me all through my wonder years) and seem to mostly ignore me when I un-age. What's more, they are great to hang out with, for the most part and I miss always them when they leave.



Youth is overrated.

Happy belated Father's Day!