It was rainy all day today and when I got bored of writing serious stuff, I turned to the Internet for pep and vigour. Now as we all now, the net is great for pep and vigour, but I didn't go to my usual vigorous sites. For some reason, I went to a dictionary site (stop laughing!) to see what sorts of entertaining amusements I could find there.

Well, please allow me to inform you of the fun of online translators! I translated the letter at the end of yesterday's bloggie into all the languages I could where I didn't have to install new fonts, and then translated them back into English.

Fun toys, but never ever use these things for important documents. I can tell you that the translation into French was pretty poor, but I figured that meant that the translations back would be even better.

And I wasn't disappointed! Here are some highlights, and the full Russian translation. It's the most coherent and sounds eerily like a cover letter written by Boris and Natasha.

Here's the original:

Tremble, mortal!

Bow down before the might of Snobby [I actually used my real name, duh]. I am perfect. My knowledge spans the countless millennia from before your puny ancestors were nothing but organic muck on an infant world. My powers are boundless and my ire will be terrible should you give this employment opportunity to a lesser being. Risk my wrath and suffer the terrible consequences. An eternity of pain...an eternity of torture...an eternity of agony!

Please contact me at your earliest convenience should you have any questions or to set up an interview.

Sincerely,

Snobby

And the retranslated:

German
I am perfect. My knowledge spans innumerable thousands of years of, before your miserable ancestors were nothing however organic dirt in a baby world. My energies are boundless and my Irish are terrible.

Yeah well, MY Irish are worse!

Dutch
My knowledge overstrains the innumerable millennia of before your puny ancestors nothing then organic manure on zuigelingswereld was...Satisfy me at your earliest freedom contact.

What an interview THAT would be

Greek
... despite organic wastes in a world of infants. ... Risk my rage and suffer the horrible consequences. one eternity of pain... one eternity of tortures... one eternity of distress!

Well, if it's only ONE eternity...

French
Arc to the bottom before the force of Snobby

I love it when someone arcs to the bottom before me ;-)

Italian
It shakes, died them!

Portuguese
Diaresis, mortal!

Spanish
Shake, mortal!

Russian
Shudder, it is mortal! Bow downward before power Snobby [I is actual used my nastoyashchayaa surname, duh]. sovershenn. My knowledge spans countless millenia from before your puny ancestors were nothing but organic muck on the infantile peace. My forces are boundless and my ire will be terrible if you you give this presence of work sites to work sites. Risk my wrath and you will endure terrible consequences. Eternity of pain...eternity of torture...eternity of agony! If you please be connected by 4 as soon as you will be able if you you have any questions or to establish upward interview. Is sincere, Snobby