I am old enough for technology to pass me by. I laughed at my parents as they struggled with DVDs, cell phones, and Windows, but now I am old enough to feel left out by the march of innovation.

I first noticed this morning as I was reading an article on the BBC site that made absolutely no sense to me. It talked of a deadly plague that was killing not people, but game characters all over the world. Passed on by virtual evil mutant blood, as I understand it, the virtual disease became a virtual epidemic once it had entered "the orc capital city of Ogrimmar". Maybe that"s where all my missing sock twins have got to as well.

Now, people with spotty faces and no dates all over the world are in a tizzy over their game characters swooning and languishing on their virtual divans, but as near as I can tell, some virtual monopoly pieces have broken and need to be replaced. But I admit that I am mostly befuddled by this controversy. All I know is: never let orcs near your Monopoly. They don't play well with others.