Although my latest batch of beef salami wasn't exactly a great success – it tastes like elongated burger patties in cow intestines (sounds delectable, no?) – my previous batch of salami was actual salami (if you ignore visual aesthetics) and the clock is ticticking down the days until my delicious corned beef with a legume glaze is finished corning and leguming. Despite my recent salami-related setback, I am confident that I will soon be in direct competition with Jamie Oliver's unfairly misleadingly titled show, "The Naked Chef". Either that, or he and I will soon be engaged in mutual recreational fraternisation. Either way is fine with me (I think I prefer option #2, actually).