Ok, guys. I have this like totally important confession to make. I never liked Dvora Shermanski ever. Ever. I know I like hung out at the mall with her and walked to school with her and everything, but she liked totally got on my nerves all the time and I wanted to slap her most of the time. She was so annoying!

I didn’t hang out with her because she’s popular. No way! I was way popular without her! Like, she should feel lucky I hung out with her. I was on the Student Council.

I hung out with her because I was totally in love with her boyfriend, Ofir Barr. Like, sometimes I new that if I went over to her place he would be there n’stuff. Like, you don’t understand! I was like so in love with him!

Like that time we went to the Huey Lewis & the News concert and he looked soooooooo hot in his acid wash jeans I thought I would die!

Another time she was sick or something so in Chemistry Mr. Wojoczosznyk made me Ofir Barr’s lab partner and he like said to me, “Wow! We have great chemistry together!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! He was so funny!

Anyways, I ran into him at the bar a couple of nights ago. He looks ok, but being in his 30s hasn’t been like totally kind to him and everything and I kinda wondered what I ever saw in him. But he seems happy. He introduced me to his boyfriend and he seems like a nice guy.


Pic like totally donated by José Cuerva
And now I just want to find Dvora Shermanski in whatever little suburban hellhole she’s ended up in - she’s probably like an accountant or a claims adjuster or something – and say to her, “Haha, bitch! Your boyfriend is GAY!”