There are fools running through Toronto with flags on their cars, draped in flag capes, with flag makeup on their faces, and shouting at people across the street who are wearing different flags on their faces and shoulders. If this is what it's like here where nobody could care less about soccer, I'm very glad not to be in Germany.

I watch sports, but I restrict it to men's diving, purely for the nudity. This is much healthier than screaming at strangers because of where their grandparents were born.

Alexandre Despatie, take me away!