Once, when my sister and I were much younger, she and I had a colossal fight over a very serious issue of the utmost importance - who got which burgers for lunch - that resulted in her doing heavy damage to my bedroom door. I was, of course, entirely innocent and blameless in the whole matter, as I was in every single altercation throughout our childhood and adolescence as you may well imagine. Ô, the heady days of childhood!

Now that we're both all grown up, according to our birth certificates, I simply pester her on MSN while she's at work so often that she is simply unable to perform her tasks. This is a much more adult way of torturing your siblings, although I should seriously rethink my strategy if I'm ever going to get her to reimburse me for that bedroom door . . . and those burgers

Happy Birthday, Surly Snobby's Dear Sister! Pull out your old Laura Branigan albums and have a party!